Insane Devil

Tension bhari padi hai - Fir Bhi Life Sahi hai

2011-06-11T15:24:00.002+05:30

Yo masses, this is for you...Be it my next door neighbor Sharma Ji(Ya, whose wife is ;) or be it my ex-boss or be it even my parents...everyone's life is pretty much filled to brim (not scotch) but "TENSION"....

Tension : What I read in school, during the Physics lectures given by my long necked teacher, who had a beautiful smile, was something related to some Physics jargon...blah..blah....but rite now I am talking about the other tension which applies to the masses...Jagataadhar.

So, being my curious self, I did another self proclaimed experiment in order to understand the root cause of this mystical problem, so that "GOD"(me) himself does some favor to its JUNTA...

Let's see: When I was born...I didn't know what was going to happen to me in the next few decades...I had no issues with anyone...no worries of marrying or even not marrying...studies...jobs or any other such aghastly ventures of life....

But as I grew older...in school, there was tension of doing home assignments...scoring(marks)... and stuff and eventually i became an ass(donkey vaala) buried under the burden of my self inflicted injuries/aims/targets in life.... I had to be an ideal son, beat my peers by outscoring them

As came college, more responsibilities surrounded me from every dimension and i realized it is actually more than a 3-D world
(3D's - D#1 - Dost - It is one harami creature who will always support you when you are wrong & would push you to the limits to do that beeppana... He would act as your most prized asset during exam time by telling you that it is worthless to study & you would feel that you have company when you would flunk

D#2 - Dushman - Dost hai to Dushman bhi honge...Yin & Yang...Theory of Relativity...When you ogle at a gal, suddenly out of the blue...there appears a muscular guy in a V-cut t-shirt, pointing his stout finger on your face....praising you in some censored jargons..telling you to stay away.... but hum bhi to chaude hain...aakhir doston ki backing hai

D#3 - Debts - Finally when you land up the gal of your dreams, it becomes to heavy on your pocket...actually pocket money...and then you have to land up to your Dost again for reasonable...sometimes unreasonable(during birthday of your eye candy) amounts of liquid cash)

Ok, so apart from these important 3-Dimensions, there are other unimportant dimensions like Dreams...D-Days(Placement Days)...Distinctive salaries...etc...which becomes makes you a Paranoid.....

After you graduate from college and enter the pivotal world of making precise presentations for that perfect client, and your pissed up boss gives you a punch in the face for using such pretentious language which i am using right now...you land on Ground Zero....Trouble again...Look for a new job...Start own venture...Zindagi jhand ho jaati hai in short

Time to marry...tension again...50 ladki dekho...40 jagah chai piyo...30 se sawaal poocho...20 ko jawaab do...10 ko final shortlist karo...finally 1 milti hai (Bloody hell, now i understand the recruitment process of these MNC's)

Shaadi ke baad ki chik-chik...in short the cycle repeats.....

Now the point is, iss sab lafde mein hi kyun pado....For living what do you require...Food, Water, Air...These are the basic necessities...Kapda, makaan, paisa are secondary aspects....
Earth is covered with 97% water whatever be the figures....So, water is not a problem...Air too is in abundance....That solves two of our three inherent needs....Food....Boss sabko agriculture mein lagao...fasal ugaao..khud khaao...parivaar vaalon ko bhi khilao...

So, now Dr. Sahab (i.e. me) has reached the conclusion that if remove the secondary elements like Kapda, makaan & paisa from our ecosystem...boss everyone would be tension free....Chor chori kya karega...Ghanta...

That's why i have planned to go for Moksha, kyonki boss Apne ko to Life Sahi hi Chahiye

Terror on Roads - Women Driver

2011-06-10T14:59:00.003+05:30

Today was a hectic morning for me. No, I mean it...Had to wake up at 5:30 in the morning (way early than my 7:30 am time..add extra 5 minutes of peace), reason being my sister's consistent persuasion since 6 long months, that I need to teach her how to drive....Huh...Another woman driver on the roads in a month...Someone please kill me

The story which I am going to narrate is quite touchy & might lead to loss of salt in your body through the tears from your eyes...so please keep Glucon D ready as well a box of tissues handy...

A decade ago when my father asked me one bright sunny day, whether I am ready to learn driving. Being my chirpy self, I motioned my head in an affirmative tone & excitedly said "YES". But destiny had different plans in store for me or my Dad. The next morning at sharp 6 in the morning dressed in a Blue T & a Bermuda, I descended the flight of stairs & stood beyond my dad's prized possession "A hyundai santro" (yea i know it sounded like i had a Merc, but no luck).

Before entering the car, Dad started giving me tips on how to check for things before you take the driver seat, checking oil level & blah & blah & blah...In the meantime, i was ogling Mrs. Sharma who was drying her long black hair having streaks of burgundy in them ;) ..That's that (More about Mrs. Sharma another time)

Suddenly i hear a loud smash sound which brings my attention back to driving(Not Mrs. Sharma but the Santro)...but what i witness was more than enough to steamroll my heart. A gal in a Maruti oversteered(actually women do not understand oversteer or understeer) and smashed her car into the back of my wannabe ride....Sob Sob...

Perfect start to my driving life....Even today when i am gliding down the roads of Delhi, whenever I witness the following symptoms on road i try to maintain atleast 5 car lengths distance from the car:

1. The car is in the rightmost lane driving at 30kmph when the stipulated limit is 50kmph

2. The car which was in the rightmost lane suddenly in a nano second is in the left most lane, without any kind of indication

3. The ORVMs(Outside Rear View Mirrors) are closed cause they are precious and add to beauty of the car

4. The IRVM (Internal Rear View Mirror) is focused on the face to check the fairness level rather than to check the anger level of the people stuck behind

5. When you horn even begs you to please let it R.I.P. because it is falling on deaf ears

6. When the person driving the car believes someone is fiddling with his lights when you ask for side by flashing headlights

The seventh deadly sin is It is Women Driver.....

P.S. No offences to all the women drivers of the world, because I have seen many fairer sex drivers who might even put Lewis Hamilton to shame... Go on gals you are Osama on Road

Who says I am Lazy!

2011-06-09T17:00:00.002+05:30

My folks always complain that I am too lazy & spend my days in front of laptop, evenings in front of the laptop & nights in bed (No, I mean sleeping in bed, that too alone!) :D. So, according to them, I am good for nothing, a lazy bum.

Now after being accused of this time & again, being a researcher that I am, I ventured out (actually introspection) & did a small research which would prove that I am not a lazyass.

With some scientific methods in place, this is the experiment which would be helpful for my fellow beings in proving their parents that they really work hard!

On an average, I walk close to 3 miles a day (yeah American standard) -- hold onto your thoughts :
Please note:

I do not go for morning walks or jogs
I drive my way to office
Even while going to the nearby store I prefer showing off in car!

So, within my home walking from one room to another & while jaywalking in office, I cover 3 miles in a day

1 day = 3 miles
365 days = 1 year = 365*3 = 1100 miles (appx)
I am nearing 25 years and as per my parents, I started walking/ambling along when I was 1.

So, 24 years = 24*1100 = 26,400 miles

That means I have covered a distance of 26000+ miles during my stay on this planet, which is actually greater than the length of the equator (24,000 odd miles).

If I would have started walking along the equator I would have crossed my home once, around 2 years back & that would have made my parents realize that actually their boy is not Lazy!

Period.

Why do we have GDs

2011-01-17T15:55:00.002+05:30

As promised guys, I am back with the topic which haunts most of us during our preparation for the coveted CAT examination. So today, we will try & understand what is the reason behind beckoning 6-10 people together in a semi circle/circle & asking them to go all out like Lady Gaga!

P.S.: The reasons being mentioned here are tuned from a moderator's perspective but tuned towards the audience perspective.

Reasons for having Group Discussion

1. It helps you(the candidate) to understand a subject more deeply : It has been stated many a times that the more you speak/hear the more you learn about a thing.

2. It improves your ability to think critically: When you are thinking of interjecting someone, you can do it in 2 ways, either ensue into a verbal/physical duel(Highly Disapproved) or you can critically acclaim/reject the other person's point. GDs are all about that.

3. It helps in solving a particular problem: Remember, GDs are not all about going all guns blazing & giving a million pointers to the moderator. The key purpose is generating ideas to solve some issues at hand. Although, it is not necessary that everytime you reach a conclusion but 70% of the times is a hygiene factor.

4. It gives you a chance to hear other ideas: Thou who shall speak the most is not necessarily the most enlightened of them all. Yes, listening is believing. Those who keep themselves open to what others have to say, climb the ladder of success the quickest.

5. It changes you attitude/perspective towards issues.

Today, we will also learn some Do's & Don'ts of Group Discussion & how we can remove that mental stigma & go all out for the Group Discussion!

Versions of Group Discussion

2011-01-16T10:34:00.002+05:30

Yes I know, you must have gone through this topic atleast a million times if not a zillion. You would be thinking what new thing are you going to learn today. I would say nothing new but yes you would be able to visualize it from a new horizon. To cut the long story short, I have encountered more than 50 odd GDs in my life & out of the half century encounters, I was able to classify the "Group Discussion" into 4 major categories:

1. Factual GDs: Factual topics means practicality, in novice terms, things which an average Joe is aware of & that happens in his/her day-to-day life. Typically these are like socio-economic topics which affect your life on an everyday basis. These topics can be current(like the fuel hike that has taken place from today) or can unbound from time like Indian Political scenario from Independence till now.

So what are they trying to check in Factual GDs? They are testing whether the person is aware of the bare necessary information around him, cause these things affect your life significantly, so if you do not have interest in the Congress Vs BJP saga, its high time you check out the political scene of India.

2. Controversial GDs/Butcher GDs: As the name suggests, every participant becomes a butcher with a knife in these GDs, just waiting for the opportunity to slaughter the goat(topic). Controversial topics are argumentative in nature, just like our members of the Lok Sabha who just need a spark to go off like that Diwali Rocket whether it be "Reservation" or it be "Rising Prices of commodities" & the favorite topic for kicking each other's butt is "Corruption" for our Golden men(Political heroes).

Controversial topics are generally given to check the mental stigma of a candidate. As an MBA a person makes rational decisions rather than flowing into someone's emotions. So, controversial topics are a test of the same to check on a continuum where do you lie. So, if you get a topic like "Reservation is good for India" then you know that you will have to be rational & give logic behind your opinion rather than being personal & emotional.

3. Abstract GDs: These GDs are my personal favorites, as it brings all the candidates on a level playground. Knowledge, current affairs & blah, blah take a backseat here & how well have you stimulated your mind plays an important role here. Topics here witness a lot of variation from being a one word "RED" to being a line from a popular nursery rhyme "Twinkle Twinkle lil' star". Nothing is wrong & nothing is right here, it just checks your lateral thinking & creativity.

4. Case based GDs: They were not much into fashion, but off late they form a major part of the Group Discussion exercise especially followed by the IIMs. A one pager case is given, usually from HBR or maybe a balance sheet, account statement & even God does not know what all & the basic purpose behind this to stimulate a real life scenario.

The next topic we have on our plate is "Why do we have GDs". If you guys want any other topic, feel free to request for the same.

Congrats to the CATTERS

2011-01-14T12:40:00.002+05:30

CAT 2010: Another year when around 2+ Lakh aspirants appeared for the most coveted examination in India (after Civil Services maybe). About 3000 odd, had their dream coming true a couple of days back when the IIMs threw open the doors of destiny for these aspirants.

Wishing all the call getters All the Best for their GDs/PIs. Those who have not received a call from that IIM, don't worry guys its not the end of the world. Starting from next week, I will start a comprehensive review on GD/PI preparation.

I hope it will be helpful.

The CAT goes online

2009-05-19T19:06:00.006+05:30

Online: It means a state of connectivity with reference from wikipedia. In simple layman terms it means anything which is connected to a network. So, now has the CAT gone to the internet?

I believe "NO". Online would be a very vague terminology to describe the exam which is given by about 300000 intelligent minds of India trying to outwit each other. CAT which used to be on some bundles of paper & an OMR sheet which was pretty hard to fill(especially the circles) till the year 2008. But, that was that. Guys, now we are in the 21st century & hi-tech geeky world. So, why not crack this CAT with the click of the MOUSE. Yes, we are going to give this exam on the computer but not on the internet.

To clarify my point, I would just like to take some random story. Assume, Mr. A has started learning car. He wakes up at 4 in the moring. Turns the ignition & drives around his block. Similarly, Mr. B also is learning car & he lives 10 blocks away from Mr. A. So, these two guys are like you & me who are giving CAT. But the level of difficulty for each of us is going to different. Maybe, for Mr. A there are more right hand curves than Mr. B & vice versa. The two entities are individual & the activities they are performing are also different but the end result:

The end result is they will both learn driving. This is an exact situation of a Computer Based Test.

Suppose I register for Day 1 of CAT & take the exam & my other friend Mr. B has registered for Day 2 & he gives the exam next day, it might be possible that a couple of questions might be similar to both of us(The probability being quite bleak). But, if I am sitting just for the sake of Mr. B & like me 8 other students are sitting respectively for 9 days & Mr. B gives the exam on Day 10 he might have an idea on what to expect from the paper.

So, is this somewhat similar to GRE/GMAT.

GRE & GMAT happens throughout the year & it is an adaptive exam which means that the first question is of normal difficulty. If you answer it correctly, the next question would be of higher difficulty else the difficulty would be eased. So, there are many changes from the world reknowned exams like GRE & GMAT.

As they say it takes a lot of time to BELL THE CAT & for the CAT it would take a lot of time to be on world map!

9 Important things Not to do in a GD

2008-04-19T16:06:00.000+05:30

Well, there are men & then there are men who can advice you breathlessly on what to do on a GD. But i m contrary to this. So, that's why this topic.

1. Don't start of with i think: Yes, its true. Once in a GD, there was this topic that should Aishwarya marry Abhishek & this gentleman adjusted his chair & pronounced his arrival by saying that "I think Aishwarya is damn more beautiful for a moron like Abhishek"(No offences meant). A pretty dame who was a Junior B's diehard fan jumped onto the bandwagon & then there was a WW III. So, please don't start with your perceptions.
Though you can add them in the middle when there is nothing much to say

2. Don't start with the conclusion: Do i need to give another illustration. I guess all of us are intelligent enough to find examples from our day to day life.

3. Don't keep glancing in the paper: The paper is there to make you feel more jittery. The content which is stored in your mind's CACHE memory(sorry can't help it being an IT Engg.) cant be explicitily placed on the paper. Don't stare at the paper much. Look into the eyes of your opponent or better dream of some exotic place & then let the horses run.

4. Don't put that pen/pencil in your mouth: Not only it gives a negative impression, but also bad for your health :D

5. Don't be a clown: Hey one of my friends is expert in this. His dad is a sweet shop owner. He also sometimes sits at the shop & keeps on flying away the flies. So, once we were sitting in a GD discussing about the NUKE Deal. Suddenly due to some provocation this guy thought that he was sitting in his shop & started swaying his arms like a jumbo jet :D. Now i think you must be intelligent enough to guess that this guy wasn't selected.

6. Friends r Foes: I must admit that i am a looser in GD's. Once during a GD i asked my mate who was a great speaker that in the GD you please point towards me & ask me to speak. He agreed. I was happy. Topic was too general. It became a fish market. My friend somehow controlled the situation & pointing towards me & said: "Varun, would u like to add something". As i was about to open my mouth, a guy sitting next to me started his Marathon run. After the GD i asked him his name. He said: "Hi! I m Varun".
Me Dumbo!!!!!

7. Don't Speak: Yes! Silence is Golden. I realised this during one of college GD's. People were discussing in a decent manner. Everyone was speaking & getting properly listened. Suddenly, out of the blue we heard a shrieking voice which pierced our ears. The words were: "Guys! Please maintain the decorum of the GD". No further comments.!!!

8. Don't be anxious: There r people who tend to push up from their chair. It looks like they have got ants in their pants. Guys! its really absurd & definitely makes you loose marks.

9. Don't b quite: Forget the Golden rule. Just speak out ur mind. If you are not speaking how will they judge you.

I know no one can give any gyaan on what to do or what not to do in a GD. but still taking some precautions is definitely helpful.

So, Happy Discussing!!!

Special Thanks to Sahil, Hemant, Aashish for sharing some great experiences.

My Tryst with CAT 07

2008-03-15T10:10:00.000+05:30

I was one of the 2.3 Lakh aspirants who aspired for CAT this year. I started my "so called" preparation way back in January 2007. I remember the ironic date 23rd January, 2007 when i landed up at IMS,Barakhambha Road & enrolled for the Catapult Course. They said that why not join the APEX batch as your basics are clear enough. I said "Are u going to give me any concession in fees". My first Mgmt lesson.

The classes began with a big boom. My batch was like a mixture of all the indegredients. There were people from IIT's, from DCE's, english gurus from St. Stephens & it also contained me : an avg. Jack. Our faculty was pretty decent. The Maths teacher was too great with his humour & The English faculty had a demanding accent. Well she was a goddess for me as i was a sucker at vocabulary.

The first gyaan i got in class was in Maths remember squares of numbers till 100 & in English remember 1000+words of vocab. The first task was easy enough while the second was next to impossible for me. I was dreaded with oxymorons & stuff like that which became a nightmare for me. As for my vocab it was still :P

With my CAT bandwagon going steadily it was time for summer break for a month due to Semester Exams & etc reasons. I was happy that i was free. When i returned my whole batch had dispersed. Some had shifted to Mumbai, sme joined other batches & i was like a loner.

So, i joined a batch which had a couple of friends from my class of B.Tech. Now the party had begun. The month early July. Every Saturday & Sunday proved to be party days for us. After the pathetic class on Geometry & lessons on Game Theory & all crap on The Alchemist & The Fountainhead i found some respite in the Coffee we had. Sometimes we headed out for a dinner after classes & we were really enjoyin life.

Suddenly, one day it was declared that the course is over. you will now be having your Mock CATS(SIMCATS). I was struck by grief. My moments of pleasure had disappeared. I was awe struck that what have i learnt during these last 5 months or so. But as they say "Once Bad, always Bad". So i thought let the tests come.

They began & i scored. I thought first time lucky. Got 97%ile in First Mock. The next mock a bit low. slowly & steadily the D-Day was approachin. It was 18th nov, 2007. The venue had been decided at Hari Nagar, New Delhi. But rite now mocks were my priority. Though i was scoring in bulk in DI/LR, avg. in QA(Maths) but i was outrite poor in VA. I never managed to score above 70%ile in VA in my entire mock span of 16 Mocks. & my lowest was 40%ile.

The date 11th Nov, 2007. Last Mock , Lst Week bfore CAT. I said Bring it on. I was bambbozled by the paper. It was a shocker. I got just 88%ile. My trust in me was on thin ice. But i never stopped. Enjoyed a few movies that week. One of them "CINDRELLA MAN". I suggest everyone to watch the movie to regain confidence if u think u hv lost it.

THE D-Day. It was a grand day. Since morning i had received tens of messages of Best of Luck wishes. After responding to them & hearing some advice from my parents, i left home for the battleground. On reaching there, my legs were shaking. I was having goosebumps. But on witnessing the other warriors there my fears of defeat disappeared. I just memorised the good ol' days of my life & entered the arena. The test began. The seals broken. Now it was time for my pencil to do the talking. I started with my strength LR/DI. I realised that something was wrong wid me. 45 mins gone & i have just marked 2 questions. I lost my nerve. I closed my eyes for a min & took some deep breaths. Took the Quant portion & one by one the questions were getting solved. Solved 13 questions in 40 mins. Now took to the most dreaded part of VA. I was actually finding VA easy today. Solved 16 questions in 40 mins. I still had another 25 mins with me. Now i started with the back portion of DI. Man! they were like a piece of cake. I was flying through the questions & managed to solve about 11 of them in those precious 25 mins. But i knew the effort wasn't enough. I had fallen short. I reached home & told my dad that Maths was easy, english doable & LR tough cookie. My dad pressed on the power button of the TV & news flashed in the QA was difficult, Eng above avg & LR damn easy. I was in tears & i knew that battleground was lost. But still, i felt that i might make it. By evening the solutions were pouring in. Thru various institutes my scores were like this:
QA: 37
DI: 27-32
VA: 19-34
OA: 83-103
The cut-offs were being projected as 100+ for a single call but i had lost out in DI bcoz the cut-offs were way over 40.

I had to forget it quickly as the next paper was line that was IIFT. I gave the paper & i knew of my fate instantly that i won't b clearin it. The results too confirmed this in the next 15 days itself.

On 8th Dec, 2007 was the date scheduled for JMET. I took to it keenly but the paper was too much for my might & i ended up getting a rank of 3246. Didn't apply to any IIT as it was futile.

The next week was SYMBIOSIS which i don't know why i had filled up. The paper was awesome & i thrashed it. The score which came about was 82.5. I filled up SCMHRD but damn didn't get a call. I was loosing heart.

On 30th Dec, 2007 the last paper of the year was NMAT(Narsee Monjee, Mumbai). Another soft chewy paper & i expected something from it. I got 87 marks & a rank of 1616. I was called for GD/PI but yesterday after the final results i wasnt able to convert it too.

Now came XAT. The toughest paper. It was a disaster for me. With Verbal screwing me again & i getting a meagre 92.97%ile.

After just 2 days was the D-Day for CAT's result. I reached home by 3 & sat on the computer. But it was too cumbersome as the servers had crashed. Then, i received a msg from a buddy who asked me to get my score via SMS. did it & got this:
QA: 97.50%ile Score: 37
DI: 82.22%ile Score: 32
VA: 99.61%ile Score: 44
OA: 98.98%ile Score : 113

I was overjoyed but the thing is i knew that i had lost out on the most prestigious clg i.e. IIMs. Till evening i was trying to witness my result on the net but to no avail. Then, suddenly i got the way thru. The website opened at a snail's pace. I was cursing my service provider that whether he had provided me a Broadband or a Dial-Up cxn. I entered the details & pressed Submit.
The next page had an enchanting moment. It stated that i had got a call from IIM-Indore. Though i missed out on the other 5 IIMs but i was overjoyed with this solitary call.

Now, it was time to prepare.

MDI PGPIM Info

2008-01-21T19:55:00.000+05:30

Hi People,

There have been a large number of Queries on MDI Admissions thread regarding MDI's PGPIM course. However, I am not able to keep track of the high activity thread. Further, everyone seems to have the same set of queries, and they keep getting repeated. I am posting everything I have till now, regarding this course. Please check this thread before you post any new query :
Q) International Business Specialization?

A)First of all, MDI does not offer a specialization in International Business, there is no program at MDI called IB... PGPIM is General Management program, where half the course you study in India, and the other half in Europe (either at London / Paris). The "International" element in the course refers to the global outlook the course intends to develop. The "global" outlook starts right here in India, where 1/3rd of the class consists of International students, from Mexico, Kentucky, France and Germany. And when you join ESCP EAP Paris, then Indians would comprise just 10% of the class. That's diversity. The global mindset will begin right here in India, when you would be taught more in terms of Walmart than big bazaar, Accentures and Anderson Consultings than Infosys.

Q) PLACEMENTS

A) The first batch is yet to be placed, and it's not possible for us to comment on that. But yes, it is advisable to think about this course ONLY if you are targetting foreign placements. Yes, MDI will get you placed as the "placer" of last resort, but that would be their failure, not success.

Q) Is it worth 10 lacs?

A) As far as being "worth it" is concerned... It's really a personal opinion. The whole course will come out to be much more than 10 L... more like 12...

Q) How different from PGPM?

A) PGPM is very old and established course. But the same is not the case with PGPIM. Last year, the course was new and there was a lot of uncertainty. But now that it has stablized, you can expect the cut offs to go up slightly.

Q) Percentiles?

A) A Pessimistic estimate of 97, and an optimistic of 95 would be my guess. (My own percentile was 96..)

Q) Is the Stint with ESCP EAP Mandatory?

A) Yes, The stint with ESCP EAP is Mandatory. That's what's "International" about the course, the exposure. Otherwise, the course is General Management (Not International Business)

Q) Reputation of ESCP-EAP?

A) You can check it out at wiki : ESCP-EAP European School of Management - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaAlso take a look at what that page says : The ESCP-EAP European School of Management is a top ranking international business school and one of the most prestigious French Management Grandes Écoles [1], [2]. It is the oldest institution dedicated to business education in the world[3]. ... school has many notable alumni in business and politics, including many CEOs, the former Prime Minister of France, Jean-Pierre Raffarin.

Q) How many programs are there in MDI? How do I decide between them?

A) At MDI, PGPM, PGPHRM, PGPIM are three branches of one program called PG program. PGPM is the the flagship program, the oldest one, and with the highest intake. Each program has its own features and characteristics. Choose whichever suits your interest and profile.You are welcome to post your queries, and I will try to answer them.